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we are the actors
breathing has been difficult for me these few weeks and it scares me sometimes i tell myself to seek medical attention but it has nvr happen.. due to hectic life and i dont pretty care abt my body sometym.. alryt nvm, put tt aside.. i believe some may have seen my disappearance.. im sure u will noe the reason one day.. but just to tell all of you tt im fine if i tell it here, this entry will be lyke a novel i really miss each and all of you.. :( sometimes i feel this world is unfair.. but wat to do..this world is just a stage for us.. if u noe wat i mean.. waiting for my another nyonya to have the meet up.. and all the best fr ur exam aite:) and my nyp gerlfrenz!! miss u loadsZ! im seriously torn...
i can sit alone doing nothing and to think abt this for hours and hours but still, with no final decision from me..urghhh! *shook head* had a dream last nyt.. isnt tt a sign from the almighty?? its not as easy as said.. dearie was down with mild fever initially but it get worse gradually and finally shoots at 38.8 degrees celcius on 8th oct.
plus his chest pain that makes him difficult to breathe..he vomitted alot.. i guess the infection has got into his lungs somehow.. dear allah, pls make him strong.. and pls get him well as soon as possible dear allah.. cuz seeing him gasping for oxygen really kills me.. i hope he will win his battle towards that virus..:'( i dun want to lose someone precious lyk him..
a year older
finally im 21.. it has been a crazy ride fr me this year.. i've to admit the year has been full of tears,cries,hurt and pain.. but allah has been ther fr me.. and i managed to get it thru with lots of patience..with every single test that HE gave... i've been seeing it coming one and another..its just painful.. exactly at 12am, my kak elly and beloved family surprised me..wit a cake!! even im nt in the mood to celebrate or to be happy at tt period of tyme, i managed to get a smile on my face, ATLEAST.. but they really make my day.. if not bcoz of them, i wouldnt hav been smiling ppl's flaws can really hurt you deeply sometimes well..yeah, its true..accepting the fact tt nobody is perfect is hard sometymes.. just dun let my heart rip into pieces, cuz wen tt happens, i cant imagine how's the outcome gonna be like.. well... let bygones be bygones.. cuz you dun noe how much you mean in my life and how much love i have for u.. enuf said aite.. and btw, thanks for all the bdae wishes, gift from all of my loved ones..i really appreciate it alot!!!
downpour
it has been a down turn coaster fr me.. i just need to let everything out in this very entry.. a couple of updates.. Ayu's aunt has been v.v nice to me and my fam.. if it's nt bcoz of her, we wont get a place to live in.. but due to certain circumstances, i've to leave the hse.. for the better.. now staying at my aunt's hse at bkt pjg.. its really way far end.. dislikes it sometimes.. but have to endure it.. well..it's been awhile since the last time i heard abt my dad.. i dunnoe how he is doin.. to be honest, i really hate wen ppl asking me wher he is living now cuz by then, i will start to hate myself... i dunnoe y.. u think im a heartless person?? absolutely NO!! and that is why i really felt guilty sometimes.. and noeing tt i have an atleast a shelter to stay in while my dad,DONT, it kills me somehow.. even tho hugely, he is the main cause for EVERYTHING.. i hope he is well ther..wherever he is.. and most importantly, hoping that after all these incident, it will give a "wake-up" call for him to repent.. dear allah, pls show me ur blessings aft all these hardships tt im facing thru.. pls show me ur light,dear almighty.. cuz as a normal human being, im nt strong actually to face this.. turning a year older real soon.. and how 1 year pass so fast.. and i really prayed to u, Allah..in tt special day of mine, YOU will make my day a blessed one.. insyaallah.. and to my dear Ayu, hope ur mum is having a huge recovery.. i noe ur heart really sunk..seeing ur own mum in tt kind of condition.. esp in the initial stage.. if it were me, i cant stop crying.. but yeah, despite all that, im glad she managed to get it thru.. and with Allah's blessing, she's doin better than previously.. been having bad dreams quite awhile.. it scares me :( |
(:stepped in:) 
Nur Azizah bte Abdul Aziz * 7 Oct 1988; turning 23yrs * am a libra * was a NYP & RP-ian * simple yet complicated * have learnt to appreciate things ard me and nt juz taking it for granted * living my life to its fullest * trying to be a better person in every single day of my life * realise am much stronger now * great besties * fiance * purple.black. * surfing net.shopping.hugs. * makeups.clothes.shoes excites her * liars * bitches * hypocrites * braggers * veggies -_- * backstabbers April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 Xx Angela xX Xx Atikah [Icka] xX Xx Ain [sis] xX Xx Ayu xX Xx Ben xX Xx Doreen xX Xx Eileen xX Xx Ekinsan xX Xx Ella [Zul's Cuz] xX Xx Fairuz xX Xx Harith xX Xx Iqah xX Xx Iqah [priv] xX Xx LadyAzVam xX Xx Jaclyn xX Xx Jessie xX Xx Lisza xX Xx Mira [NYP] xX Xx Mira [RP] xX Xx Munir xX Xx Myza xX Xx Natasha xX Xx Nieza xX Xx NuruL Aini xX Xx Raleah xX Xx Salwa xX Xx Santi xX Xx Shaz xX Xx Shidah [cheers] xX Xx Syahidah [BTS] xX Xx Ting Ting xX Xx Wanie xX Xx Wawa xX Xx Xiao Rong xX Xx Zielah xX Xx Zimah xX pictures editted by Azizah Aziz |
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